Friday, September 19, 2008

Various Lies - 25th Anniversary Black Tie Gala

The management and staff of Various Lies will be celebrating our 25th year in circulation on Friday, October 3rd, 2008, in the International Ballroom at the Chicago Hilton.  This event is open to the public, and tickets are now on sale at a price of $220 per person.  The dress code for the evening will be formal.  Seating is limited, so act quickly to secure your seat at the table.

Please join us to celebrate this auspicious occasion.  Varous Lies started out 25 years ago as a small newspaper, and has expanded into an online powerhouse, culminating in a Pulitzer Prize last year.  Today, Various Lies boasts a readership of nearly 250,000 unique page views per day, and is widely praised for upholding journalistic ethics and integrity in an age of sensationalism and bias.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Chickens can do math

There's a new research study at some big university that shows that chickens are naturally able to do basic math. The really cool thing is they've done selective breeding on some and genetic engineering and stuff so some of their chickens can do more complex math. They think it's going to be the next big thing in the poultry industry.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Presidential picking team

My dad is part of the secret group that picks who gets to be the next president. It's decided in advance, so I know who it is going to be this time around, but I can't tell you because I don't want my dad to get in trouble.