Thursday, October 19, 2006

How Not to Lose Weight

A corollary of quantum theory states that every time you weigh something, the fact of observing the measurement increases the weight of the object slightly. So the more you weigh yourself, the more you weigh. That's why people who obsess about their weight keep getting heavier.


Blogger Lew said...

For olympic sprints now, scientists use a quantum finish method to determine the winner in case photo finish isn't good enough, but a lot of people say it isn't fair because the scientists change the outcome by measuring it.

11:18 PM  
Blogger The dykes next door said...

You know, I have been wondering why I keep gaining weight! Now I know. It isn't my fault, not really. I guess this is the reason that they tell you not to weigh yourself but once per week. If they had just told me about this phenomenon, I would have stayed off of the scales. I think that they must have wanted me to gain weight. This must be a conspiracy by clothing manufacturers who want to make you keep buying bigger and bigger clothes. Thank you for clearing this up.

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


and if you stop thinking about yourself or thinking altogether you'll actually cease to exist. "I don't. Therefore, I'm not!"

11:57 AM  
Blogger LeoBro said...

and if you stop thinking about yourself or thinking altogether you'll actually cease to exist.

That's true. One day at work we found an empty office in our area. We knew it wasn't empty the day before, but none of us remembered whose office it was. We also remembered that someone in the office was basically not doing any work, but we couldn't remember who. That's when we realized that the person, whoever it was, had stopped thinking and ceased to exist. Of course, as a result, no one had any record of the person.

This happens more often than most people realize, nowadays.

3:41 PM  
Blogger The dykes next door said...

Actually, I saw a documentary the other day that proved that when you are not there, everything ceases to exist. If you are in the bedroom, the rest of the house does not exist. If you are at work, your entire house and everything between your house and your work does not exist. They used those time-delayed ultra high speed infrared video cameras to prove that this really happens. And that is why you have trouble finding things...when they reappear, they aren't in the same place that you left them in. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the documentary with my own eyes.

9:22 PM  

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