Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lethal Chimichanga

My friends and I used to eat at this Mexican restaurant that had the best chimichangas on the face of the earth. They tasted so good we started going there every day, sometimes twice a day. We couldn't figure out what they put in there. One day one of my friends had 4 of them in one day and he became paralyzed from the neck down. 3 days later he suffered a massive heart attack after we brought him a chimichanga and fed it to him in the hospital. The doctors could never figure out what killed him.

Then, a month later, one of my friends became paralyzed, once again from the neck down. We didn't feed him a chimichanga and he survived. He lived, if you can call it living. He made a partial recovery. He is in a wheel chair, and has to use a restraint collar to keep from beating his head against objects. His mouth hangs open and the only way he can communicate is with a series of electronic beeps.

Just a week later, two more of our friends entered a chimichanga eating and had at least 10 each. They were dead less than 3 hours later. The doctors could never pinpoint what killed them, but they were using some kind of chemical for the secret ingredient in the chimichangas. They shut the restaurant down as soon as they found out and arrested and deported the owners.

The sad thing is, after all that, I would still eat them.


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