Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Chupacabra

My uncle used to have this farm and something was killing his chickens. He kept finding them dead with a hole in their neck, drained of all their blood. One night he hid out in the bushes by the hen house and he saw a creature, he thought it was a coyote, and shot it.

The next morning he came out to take a look at it, and it was a black skinned creature with red eyes like an insect and spines on it's back, like a reptile. He'd never seen anything like it so he started searching for things like that on the internet and found out it was a chupacabra. So posted to a forum that he had a dead chupacabra in his possession, and called a TV station. He got out his camera and started taking pictures of it. The FBI must have monitored the internet post or his phone call because they were there in less than 30 minutes.

They arrested my uncle, took the dead chupacabra, the dirt under the body, the chickens it had killed, anything that might have it's DNA. Then they took the camera and my uncle's computer. (it wasn't even a digital camera) They held him in jail for over a week asking him all kinds of questions trying to figure out what he knew and didn't know before they finally released him. Nobody knows for sure what they did to him in there because my uncle has never been the same since.

He quit farming and moved into the city, he got a mop job at a hospital. He started seeing homeless guys coming in with puncture wounds in their neck, drained of all their blood and he knew what it was from. The doctors would always just send them down to the coroner and the FBI would come pick them up. From a lot of the questions they asked my uncle during his interrogation he pieced together that the government is using chupacabras to thin out the homeless population. He's going to write a book to prove it as soon as he can get some more evidence. Every night he wanders the dark streets of Chicago with a gun in his coat, searching for a chupacabra.

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