Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Weight Loss Solution

Obesity costs the health care system billions of dollars a year, and where do those dollars go? To greedy doctors. What the medical establishment doesn't want you to know is that there's an easy, cheap way to loose as much weight as you want. Simply ingest a tapeworm. The cheapest way to get them is to pull them from a dead animal or an infected pet, but you can also order tapeworm eggs online.

Once the parasites have infested your digestive tract, they will begin feeding upon all the nutrients that your body would normally convert into fat. You'll never have to ride the fat cart at walmart again. You can loose as much weight as you want, and then when you reach your ideal weight, you can simply go to the doctor for a deworming or swallow a couple teaspoons of draino. In either case, it's cheaper than a lifetime of obesity and the heart attacks that go along with it.

Side effects may include upper abdominal discomfort, diarrhea, loss of appetite, rapid weight loss, vomiting, ethiopianism, malnutrition, dehydration, oral and anal bleeding, bloating, gas, abdominal cramping, muscular contractions, fever, loss of short term memory, blisters, athsma, allergic reactions, hydrocephalus, anemia, kidney failure, liver sclerosis, bone loss, AIDs, dry mouth, or death.


Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

My God man, you maybe onto something. Though, you state that a side effect of the ingested tapeworm is AIDS -- I'm not meant to be having sexaul relations with it, am I?

4:24 AM  
Blogger Lew said...

Of course not. The problem is sometimes the parasites carrry different viri, including AIDs.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Makes sense.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Diet Right said...

Good information and articles. I really enjoyed the reading, keep up the good work!

3:34 PM  

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