Cell Phone Antenna

My Uncle Larry was in Vietnam and he got a purple heart because he ended up with a metal plate in his head. He won't tell us how, all he says is that "Charlie got the drop on us." He was a pretty cool guy up until the 1980s when he started hearing voices. They started driving him crazy because they wouldn't shut up, they just got worse and worse, more and more of them. Finally they figured out that he was picking up what people were saying on their cell phones. He can hear what you are saying up to several miles away, but he hears a lot of cell calls so sometimes it's hard to filter out who is saying what. When they created text messaging, it got even worse. Any time someone sends a text message within a thousand feet of him, my uncle pees his pants and forgets who he is for a half hour. It got so bad that he moved to the desert where there are no cell towers for a hundred miles in each direction, and now he's working on cross-breeding birds.