Mexican Car Alarm
In the rougher parts of Mexico, they train monkeys to attack people except their family members and then lock them their car. If a thief tries to steal it, or even break the window and steal something the monkey will either maul the thief or make so much noise everyone within 5 blocks will hear it. They use monkeys instead of dogs so they can even lock them in the car on scalding hot days.
posted by Lew at 6:59 PM
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Monkeys have been used to successfully predict the U.S. presidential election ever since 1968. They show the monkeys photographs of the two candidates and train the monkeys to vote by pressing a button next to their favorite picture. The University where this study has been conducted is trying to keep the monkeys' success a secret so as not to offend the U.S. voters.
Another great use for monkeys is as food. McDonalds used monkeys for burgers in Bejing when thier meat trucks arrived late. The "new" burger formula was a surprise hit, and customers were aksing for the "new" burgers constantly after McDonalds got resupplied with beef.
You know that toy where you link red plastic monkeys together to make a chain? Well there was a tribe in the mountains of Indonesia where they used to make long ropes for hauling water by tying dead monkeys like that. That's where the toy idea came from.
The reason NASA first shot monkeys into space was to see if it was safe for humans to go, and also because monkeys are much more vulnerable to radiation, but there was a side effect and the radiation made them a lot smarter, and every monkey that's come back from space has been smart enough to do math. They can't talk but on IQ tests they score just below "mentally handicapped."
A long time ago there was a television show about a band called "The Monkees." Everyone knew the band was just made up for the TV show, but most people don't realize that to save money, the music was actually written by four monkeys who played the piano.
But humans wrote the lyrics.
My uncle had a helper monkey because he was handicapped. It could do almost anything including making cereal and firing a handgun, so my cousin was trying to teach it to cut through a safe because he wanted to train it to rob a bank, but when he was teaching the monkey to use a blow torch, it got confused and cut through the gas tank, causing the tank to blow up and burn down the entire garage. The monkey died and the replacement they got wasn't nearly as smart so there was no more robbery training.
I used to have a monkey of my own but someone stole him and later I saw him in a TV commercial.
http://www.annierae.com/video/stream.php?video_clip=bridge
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